calling

I love surprises.

I love the anticpation of something great and not really knowing how it will play out.

I am energized by pondering what God might do “suddenly” as I follow him.

Recently, I’ve been praying for my next “suddenly”.

I’ve prayed and imagined in my mind what exciting adventure God might have for me on the other side of my prayers.

I’ve longed to find my calling. 

That one thing God created me for. 

That “fit”.  That “purpose”.

And I’ve prayed.

And I’ve waited.

And as each door to what I thought God was calling me through closed.

He opened my eyes instead.

Not to a miraculous “suddenly” that boasted of God’s great power and ability.

…but instead to the daily, steadfast, unconditional and never ending love and grace He offers me.

 

And in waiting and seeking I discovered something.

I discovered that my calling may not be something “suddenly”

…but instead to daily let myself fall madly in love with my Savior.

 

I’ve discovered not only what I am called to, but also what I am not called to.

I am no called to seek my own desires, but to desire God alone.

I am not called to demand love, but to love others.

I am not called to defend myself, but to let Him defend me.

I am not called to strive, but to wait.

I am not called to be grumpy, bitter or unkind in my words or my actions….ever.

I am not called to judge, criticize or condemn, but to love unconditionally, gracefully and patiently…just the way He loves me.

 

In seeking Him, trying to discover my calling, I have not discovered a great surprise or experienced a situation where “suddenly” I was taken on some great adventure.

Instead in seeking God, I have found Him.

And found how He knows me.

And knows what I need.

And in claiming His promise to give me all that I need, I discovered that all I need is Him.

How sweet my Jesus is to me that He would deprive me of all the dreams I came up with in my own strength only to give me exactly what He knew my heart was longing for…what it needs…

Him.

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