overwhelmed

This week has overwhelmed me.

God has provided some work for me to do at night. It is the perfect provision of work for me as it can only be done at night and it can be done at home. But there’s a learning curve that comes with it that is for now frustrating and keeping me up way past my bedtime. I know in time it will get better, but in the midst of frustration and lack of sleep, I am overwhelmed.

Thursday night the whole family (thankfully with the exception of  Samantha) got violently ill for 8 hours straight. It was by far the nastiest sickness we have ever experienced, leaving us all exhausted on Friday. We recovered quickly and were all back on our feet Saturday, but the lingering lack of sleep and time alone with God was still wearing on my spirit and I was overwhelmed.

This morning as Keith let me sleep in and I sat down to read the Bible, I read Hebrews 5:3-5 and this was my prayer:

I know I can rejoice too when I run into problems and trials, for I know that they are good for me – they help me to learn to endure. And enduring develops strength of character in me, and character strengthens my confident expectation of salvation. And this expectation will not disappoint me. For I know how dearly God loves me, because He has given me the Holy spirit to fill my heart with His love.

With this passage, God changed my overwhelmedness to thankfulness. I am reminded that I can be thankful because I can rest all of my expectation on God alone and He can more than bear the weight of my burdens. That if I rest all of my expectation in God, I will never be disappointed and I will ultimately find rest in the love He has for me…unconditional love.

And although lack of sleep and repositioning of circumstances in my day overwhelm me, I fix my eyes on Jesus and I am filled with a great joy knowing that He holds all of me in His hand.  And my soul rests and I sit at His feet and ask for His direction and guidance in ordering my day…because I know He will give it if I expect it.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

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