anxious?

A few weeks ago I found myself in the midst of a really tough day battling with my thoughts. I was overcome by anxiety and in those moments, my belief that God was going to take care of us or provide for us wavered. I was sick to my stomach and there was nothing I could think of to meditate on that would change my mind and revert my focus back to God and His promises. So….all day I did what I know to do….I listened to songs with His Word in it, I meditated on His Words that have promises in them – even if I didn’t necessarily believe what was in those promises right then.

 

These are the ones that I meditated on….
Phil 4:6-7 …do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

….and my thoughts were: I am anxious….and I don’t have peace. Do I only get God’s peace if I’m not anxious? I’ve prayed….I’ve petitioned….I’ve thanked…..still no peace! If I don’t have peace how can I not be anxious? Seemed like a vicious cycle. Like it was my responsibility to figure out how to not be anxious and then God would give me peace. So…of course that only caused more anxiety and it was a downward spiral from there.

Then I meditated on Proverbs 3:5-6 …trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will make your paths straight.

So….trust……and then He will. He promises – and if He promises…who am I not to believe He will?  And that it is not my own understanding that is going to get my paths straight, only trusting Him will get me there. So, if I trust…..then He will make my paths straight.  If I trust…

Easy, right? For me, not so much. I have a tendency to want to figure things out – a tendency that seems to send me into a tailspin when God starts doing things that are His ways and I can’t wrap my little mind around what He’s up to. I start to place my human understanding like boundaries around what I think God can do. Because sometimes circumstances don’t look like He’s moving in the direction I think He should be, I assume He’s not moving at all. Ridiculous, I know.

Trust is faith. And faith is believing what God’s Word says over what my situation or circumstances say. And His Word say if I trust, He will…

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