Last night I was awoken by Kaitlyn screaming at about 3:15am. I did what I normally do, I nudged Keith to check on her. He came back into our room sharing that Kaitlyn believed she had thrown up, but he couldn’t see it. I got out of bed, turned on the lights and sure enough, she had thrown up over the rail of her top bunk onto the floor. Yuck!
I’m aware that every parent has these nights…it’s just part of being a parent. But if I’m willing to admit it, I’d say that most of “these” nights, I get an annoyed pit in my stomach at the “nerve” of her interrupting my precious sleep to do such a thing (I don’t know that I would consciously think those exact words, but I would have had an attitude of annoyance nonetheless). I would still have cared for her, but out of obligation instead of compassion. The fact that I’m not the most compassionate mom sometimes was echoed by Keith coming out to “check” on Kaitlyn everytime he heard her get sick. I’m pretty certain that he was checking on me just as much – to make sure I hadn’t lost my patience and see that he needed to take over to show Kaitlyn the compassion she needed.
But last night was different for me.
Last night I wasn’t annoyed or irritated that Kaitlyn interrupted my sleep and my heart was instead filled with compassion for her. I longed to comfort her and to make her feel better…and not just so I could go back to sleep.
I’ve been praying for a long time that God would make me a more compassionate person. And last night showed me that He’s been answering…and that I’m making progress. For me, that’s all it’s really about – making progress towards being less like me and more like Him.
Is there anything you’re not very good at that you’ve been working on? How’s your progress?