There will always be a mountain in front of me.

Standing in between me and what God has for me next.

And whether my mustard seed-sized faith causes that moutain to move from here to there.

Or if I have to climb it.

God has something He wants to show me on the other side.

I praise Jesus for every mountain He sets before me with the promise that if I walk with Him faithfully, a glorious view that only He could create awaits me.

Ever picked up a book or a study and thought it was written just for you, just for your season?

I’m doing a Bible Study called Radically Obedient by Aliene Thompson - it’s based upon Joshua. Wow.

Thought I’d share with you an exerpt from it …lately I’ve been so blown away by God’s Word and what He is teaching me that I have little to add. I hope it speaks to you and you can hear God calling your name. But I must admit, this is somewhat of a selfish post of something I want to have written where I can refer to it and remember.

Faith is moving beyond the comfort zones of your past. Insecurities will keep you living in the past – faith will move you forward.

Moses led the Israelites for over forty years. At this point, Moses was dead and God had tapped Joshua on the shoulder, telling him to “get ready to cross the Jordan” (Joshua 1:2). It was a new era and God needed a new leader for Israel. Moses had been a shepherd; Joshua was a warrior. Change was getting ready to occur. In this case, the Israelites went with the change, telling Joshua “wherever you send us we will go” (Joshua 1:16). Even if Joshua had not received applause from the Israelites, I believe he still would have followed God’s call for his life.

Our insecurities can make us dependent on approval from others. As we move away from our past and our comfort zones to follow God, our friends and family might not approve of our plans or support us. But God calls us to please Him, not man. When He calls, we need to follow.

God is always doing something new. It can be uncomfortable doing things differently, following a new leader, or going another direction. If you and I want to surrender completely to God, we must be flexible, faithful followers. Fear keeps us in our past; faith pushes us into the future that God has in store for us. Fear of the unknown limits us; faith in the Father allows us to rise to new heights.

Sometimes our past can be a wilderness, and yet we don’t want to leave it because it is familiar. God wants to take us outside of our comfort zone to find our Promised Land.

What old habit, place, or relationship are you reluctant to release in order to get into your Promised Land?

I believe Jesus.

For the past 20 years I’ve believed in Him, but only recently have I learned to believe Him.

For me, that means when He says

I will provide for me financially…I believe Him (Matthew 6:33)

I have plans for you that are good…I believe Him (Jeremiah 29:11)

I will show you which way to go…I believe Him (Psalm 32:8)

You need not worry or be anxious….I believe Him (Matthew 6:25, Philippians 4:6)

You do not need to strive, only be still…I believe Him (Psalm 46:10)

I will be with you always…I believe Him (Hebrews 13:5)

I will answer you when you call Me….I believe Him (Jeremiah 33;3)

I rejoice over you with singing…I believe Him (Zephania 3:17)

I love you…I believe Him (Jeremiah 31:3)

I think I always thought that I had to understand Him to believe Him.

I don’t.

In most ways I never will.

But I believe His character.

And His character never changes…and neither do His promises.

So even when I can’t see, feel or hear Him…

And when I’m confused, at a loss and frustrated…

I believe Him.

Because I believe His ways are much higher than my ways (Isaiah 55:9)

Because I believe He loves me

…and His love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8)

I live a pretty unexciting life, but I get to spend time in the presence of a very exciting God.

But yesterday, something exciting happened…

Keith bought me a new Bible.

It’s a soft brown NIV thinline Bible.

A little over four years ago on Mother’s Day, he bought me a black and gray NLT thinline Bible.

And in the years that I have had and studied that Bible, God has changed every crevice and corner of my life and my world.

I’ve marked through the whole thing, with all sorts of names, prayers and highlights.

Underlined verses that spoke to me intimately and memorized others I knew I needed written on my heart to get through certain seasons.

I’ve grown to depend on those Words more than my very breath on most days.

And fallen deeply in love with the Author.

But in my black and gray Bible, Revelation has fallen out.

And the Bible study I am about to begin is about God’s Covenant promises.

And the very first reference to covenant in Genesis 6:8, in the NLT version, doesn’t use the word “covenant”.  Which for this study, is pretty important.

So, Keith decided it was time.

And my new journey begins.

Not that the Scriptures change, they don’t. They never will.

But as I flip through the pages of my new Bible, I smile as I think about the things God will teach me during the days I sit with this Bible laying open in my lap.

I wonder who’s names I will write, which verses I will underline, what Psalms I will pray, what promises I will claim.

I think about how I will have to “re-learn” certain verses by their reference instead of the fact that I know where a certain verse is on a certain page and how I’ve marked it.

I’m so excited about my new Bible.

Not because His Word ever changes. I know it does not.

But because of how His Word will change me as I spend in my new Bible.

I’m realizing that only a fine line distiguishes the difference between jumping off a cliff and stepping out on faith.

Knowing God’s character through spending time with Him is the only way to discern the difference between the two.

I’m also learning that wisdom in God’s eyes looks much like insanity in the world’s eyes.

Knowing His Word is the only way my small mind can claim to know where I’m going when my external circumstances are declaring that I am crazy.

What God is doing in me and around me will never fit into the small box of my own understanding

It’s not supposed to.

If I only trust Him based upon what I can make sense of

I’m not really trusting Him at all.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5

I set her on my mother-in-law’s kitchen floor and I looked up and said

“I don’t even like her”

And as I stood sobbing, I wanted nothing more than to leave…without her. 

I hated being a mom.

I hated what Kaitlyn’s constant crying told me about how I was doing as a mom.

I hated being attached…responsible for another person’s life.

I hated that I didn’t feel all mushy and warm inside when I held her.

Instead I felt resentment, guilt and anxiety.

And I just wanted it to go away.

I wanted her to go away.

So, when people tell me I’m a good mom…

All I can do is smile and thank Jesus for His grace…

Thank Him that He’s never given up on me.

For everday I am made aware that I can do nothing of any worth without Him.

And if He can make me an ok mom…I know nothing is impossible for Him.

I pray daily that He protects my kids from my selfishness and my sinfulness.

I cherish that He has given me a promotion in this life from just caring for myself to letting me care for them too.

I beg Him for guidance and direction daily, because I know His ways are better than mine.

And that only He knows what my children’s future’s hold, and what they will need to get to where He wants to take them.

I’m so thankful that although I know He does not need me to accomplish what He will in their lives, by His grace, He lets me be a part of always pointing them back to Him.

I am a perfectionist.

I figure why bother doing something if I’m not going to do it perfectly?

So, generally, if I don’t think I can accomplish something and the final product not be of the best quality, I won’t generally attempt it.

And then I got married…

And I had kids…

And a house to manage….

And for years I strived for perfection even in those things.

Because I believed it would be beautiful if I could control those things to perfection.

Then I read this verse…

 I Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

For me, it wasn’t necessarily physical appearance that was my outward adornment, but what I thought my life looked like from the outside.

And I realized…

…if someone asked my husband or kids if a “gentle and quiet spirit” was what they saw when they looked at me, what would their answer be?

Because ultimately, a clean house, well-behaved kids and a faithful husband aren’t by themselves things that are “of great worth in God’s sight” ….but a gentle and quiet spirit is.

So I stopped striving for perfection, but am allowing Grace to take over instead.

I love surprises.

I love the anticpation of something great and not really knowing how it will play out.

I am energized by pondering what God might do “suddenly” as I follow him.

Recently, I’ve been praying for my next ”suddenly”.

I’ve prayed and imagined in my mind what exciting adventure God might have for me on the other side of my prayers.

I’ve longed to find my calling. 

That one thing God created me for. 

That “fit”.  That “purpose”.

And I’ve prayed.

And I’ve waited.

And as each door to what I thought God was calling me through closed.

He opened my eyes instead.

Not to a miraculous “suddenly” that boasted of God’s great power and ability.

…but instead to the daily, steadfast, unconditional and never ending love and grace He offers me.

And in waiting and seeking I discovered something.

I discovered that my calling may not be something “suddenly”

…but instead to daily let myself fall madly in love with my Savior.

I’ve discovered not only what I am called to, but also what I am not called to.

I am no called to seek my own desires, but to desire God alone.

I am not called to demand love, but to love others.

I am not called to defend myself, but to let Him defend me.

I am not called to strive, but to wait.

I am not called to be grumpy, bitter or unkind in my words or my actions….ever.

I am not called to judge, criticize or condemn, but to love unconditionally, gracefully and patiently…just the way He loves me.

In seeking Him, trying to discover my calling, I have not discovered a great surprise or experienced a situation where “suddenly” I was taken on some great adventure.

Instead in seeking God, I have found Him.

And found how He knows me.

And knows what I need.

And in claiming His promise to give me all that I need, I discovered that all I need is Him.

How sweet my Jesus is to me that He would deprive me of all the dreams I came up with in my own strength only to give me exactly what He knew my heart was longing for…what it needs…

Him.

I used to think I was faithful.

I followed the rules, stayed within the lines and even tried to encourage those around me to do the same.

And then I took a step.

A step of faith that required my full dependence on God alone.

And I thought He would answer.

And give me what I wanted.

Fulfill all the dreams I had been dreaming.

So I waited.

Figured since I had been so faithful to follow His rules, my dreams had to be what He was dreaming for me.

And I waited some more.

And as I waited, I realized that I was much more dependent upon my own ability to discern what God wants than I was on God.

On His character.

His sovreignty.

His ability.

His willingness to love me so much that He tolerates my tantrums just to see me grow through circumstances only He could put into place.

And although I am much of the time confused and all the time humbled, I am in awe at the God I have fallen in love with in the process of waiting on Him alone.

In awe of His goodness, His mercy, His kindness.

And if I never get to do anything else in this life but know Him more…

…I am so grateful.

Me: “God, why can’t you just tell me what Your plan is?”

God: “Sheila, I have. But because you haven’t seen all of the details yet, you don’t believe it”

Me: “oh, right. duh.”

Matthew 6:25-34

²⁵I tell you not to worry about your life. Don’t worry about having something to eat, drink, or wear. Isn’t life more than food or clothing? ²⁶Look at the birds in the sky! They don’t plant or harvest. They don’t even store grain in barns. Yet your Father in heaven takes care of them. Aren’t you worth more than birds?

    ²⁷Can worry make you live longer? ²⁸Why worry about clothes? Look how the wild flowers grow. They don’t work hard to make their clothes. ²⁹But I tell you that Solomon with all his wealth wasn’t as well clothed as one of them. ³⁰God gives such beauty to everything that grows in the fields, even though it is here today and thrown into a fire tomorrow. He will surely do even more for you! Why do you have such little faith? ³¹Don’t worry and ask yourselves, “Will we have anything to eat? Will we have anything to drink? Will we have any clothes to wear?” ³²Only people who don’t know God are always worrying about such things. Your Father in heaven knows that you need all of these. ³³But more than anything else, put God’s work first and do what he wants. Then the other things will be yours as well.

    ³⁴Don’t worry about tomorrow. It will take care of itself. You have enough to worry about today.

I just got finished painting Kaitlyn’s nails.

As I’m painting them, she kept trying to move her hand so that I could have a better angle to paint them.

The thoughts in my head were “if only you’ll sit still, I can make them really pretty. If you keep moving around – even though you’re trying to help me – it only makes a mess”. 

And I heard my sweet Savior gently whisper the same thing  to me.

I’ve asked Him to make my life “pretty”….to make it as He wants it to be.

But I keep moving…somehow thinking that if I get myself the right spot, He’ll have a better angle on what He needs to do.

When all He really wants is for me to sit still. 

Psalm 37:7  Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him

…better late than never, right?

My first verse is one that we’re memorizing as a family. Kaitlyn brought it home from church and we loved it! It’s made for a pretty easy reminder to the kids when they’re not so nice to each other : )

Luke 6:31     Do to others as you would have them do to you

My second verse I just love….I love it because it reminds me how important it is that I know His Word. It reminds me that if I don’t know His Word, I won’t know His promises….the ones that He’s never not carried through.

Numbers 23:19

God is not man, that He should lie.

He is not human that He should change His mind.

Has He ever spoken and failed to act?

Has He ever promised and not carried it through?

One of my favorite financial websites is ChristianPF.com. They have some great financial advice and resources with a Biblical perspective. They also often ask questions with the purpose of starting a discussion. A couple of days ago, the discussion was regarding what to tip a bad waiter and many shared their responses…most referencing giving the waiter what he had earned (very little) or to speak to a manager about the poor service.

It broke my heart.

And I thought to myself…I wonder which is more effective with regards to being Jesus’ hands and feet to a lost and dying world?

1. leaving him $1, 10%, 20%, etc. and giving him what he has “earned” or “deserves”
2. leaving a $20 tip with a note only stating “God loves you”

…because the way I see it, I deserve death and eternity in hell…but instead Jesus insists on showering blessings on me daily and telling me He loves me (irregardless of my attitude or service towards Him that day).

Oh, if only my heart would always be to share Jesus with everyone I meet. Irregardless of how they treat me and what I think I “deserve”.

Philippians 2:3-8

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
 Who, being in very nature God,
      did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,

 but made himself nothing,
      taking the very nature of a servant,
      being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
      he humbled himself
      and became obedient to death—
         even death on a cross!

Lord, I pray that I will find my worth in You alone.

Not anything I do.

or who I know.

or who likes me.

Not because of my kids.

or my marriage.

or my home.

I pray I will learn – that You would be so patient to teach me – to find all of my value and my worth in who I am in You only…

because who I am in You never changes.

Psalm 139:14 

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
       your works are wonderful,
       I know that full well.

When I try to bear the weight of burdens my shoulders are not built for.

When I try to figure out answers that are not yet mine to receive.

When I think I’ve figured God out…but He’s just not “acting” the way I think He “should”.

When I believe I have forgiven, but still allow myself to replay the grievance in my mind. 

When I think I have to be perfect and picking up a new set of plates to spin doesn’t mean I get to put another set down.

 Exhausted…

what I am when I carry the weight of who I expect myself to be.

Free…

what I am when I embrace who God created me to be.

2 Corinthians 3:17

…where the Spirit of the LORD is, there is freedom

I just LOVE this first verse. I’ve had it on a sticky note on my bathroom mirror for some time now, but really want to be able to recall it from memory…often. What a great encouragement this verse is and the promises it declares! I love it!!!

Psalm 62-5-7

I wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him.

He alone is my Rock and my Salavation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor come from God alone

He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.

This is the one we are memorizing with the kids…(in a kid version…I may attempt to memorize it in it’s entirety, but I really just like the point it so clearly states in so few words)

Micah 6:8

Do what is right to everyone.

Love being kind to others.

April was crazy crazy…but here goes…

Hebrews 10:35-36

Do not give up your confident hope no matter what happens. Remember the great reward it brings you. Patient endurance is what you need now so that you can keep on doing the will of God. Then you will get all that God has promised.

Phil 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength I need.

checking…..

….pretty close : )

It’s Saturday, so I headed over to Internet Cafe Devotions for their weekly “Cafe Chat” where they are talking about…

In the eyes of the world, it is not our relationship with Jesus Christ that counts; it is our resemblance to him!

When you read the quote above, especially the last part of the quote, do you agree with the author or disagree? Why did you answer the way you did?

And I’m reminded of the quote from St. Francis of Assisi that states “Share the gospel with everyone you meet. Use words when necessary.”

I’m not much of a verbal evangelist.

Don’t hear me wrong, I want everyone I know to know the Jesus that I know.

But I’m not necessarily very good at explaining how great He is with my words.

So, my heart’s desire is that when people look at me, they would see a glimpse Jesus.

Not because I am good. Or super-spiritual. Or even always joyful.

But because I’m forgiven.

That I would live in such a way that exemplifies the gratefulness I have that Jesus can see all my junk…and still determine that I can be more.

More like Him.

I strive alot.

Strive to do more. Be more. Help more. Grow more. Know more. Read more. Love more.

My favorite verse in the whole Bible is Psalm 46:10 “Cease striving and know that I am God”.

I am pretty certain it is my favorite verse because it will be something I will have to consistently remind myself of throughout my life.

I read this today at Jay Peroni’s “Faith-Based Millionaire” blog….